Antagopation

an·tag·o·pa·tion
/anˈtag(ə)peɪʃ(ə)n/

1. The excitement a person feels at soon being able to remove somebody they dislike from their life.

Anonymous asked: Tom/Tommy. 8

Prompt: Innocence

At first, Tommy wonders if there’s something wrong with him. Well, alright - he knows there’s something wrong with him. He’s got Conlon blood in his veins, after all. But this is different. Tommy is a pervert, he freely admits this, but his interest (not an obsession, whatever Tom says) in pictures of Tom when he was just skirting the boundaries of jailbaithood…maybe that’s a little over the line.

“It’s a fairly common fantasy, Tommy,” his shrink, Emily, says when Tommy Skypes her that week. “Just look at the amount of barely legal porn online if you don’t believe me.”

“Nah,” Tommy says with a snort. “I don’t gotta, I know about porn. It’s just…” And however much he trusts her, is comfortable with her, it’s still weird to talk about porn with a lady.

“Go on,” Emily prompts with a little smirk that says she knows exactly why he stopped.

“Well, fuck. It’s not really a porn thing, okay? It’s just…Tom.”

“So, you’re worried about your sexual fantasies of your boyfriend when he was younger?”

Put like that, it sounds fucking ridiculous. Still, Tommy gives a slow nod.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“He knows.” Which is true. Tom had even given him a small stack of his own high school era pictures, with a box of tissues and a small bottle of lube in case Tommy didn’t get what he was supposed to do with them. The little shit.

“I’m sorry, Tommy, I don’t understand the problem, then. If it’s something you-”

Tommy cuts her off before she gets any further. “He doesn’t jack it to me. I mean, fucking- young me.”

There’s a long moment of silence, which turns out to be lag, followed by the spaceship-powering-down sound of the call dropping. Tommy doesn’t answer when Emily tries to reconnect. When he checks later, there’s an IM waiting.

Just because your boyfriend doesn’t share a kink, that doesn’t make it a weird kink. If you want to talk more about this, let me know. I’ll see you next month.

***

Tommy won’t deny that he’s stubborn. One thing that he’s learned over the years, though, is that if he doesn’t take Emily’s advice when it’s given, he ends up wishing he has. So, he’s going to talk to Tom. He is. Just…finding the right time is tricky.

It’s a weird subject to bring up. For all that he and Tom are very different people, they’ve always been crazy compatible in the bedroom. Tommy’s thing for wide eyed, jailbait Tom is one of the only kinks they don’t share.

It shouldn’t be an issue. Tommy doesn’t want to make it an issue, but—

“Do you think it’s weird that I spank it to young you?” Tommy asks when dinner is winding down, mumbling the words at his plate instead of at Tom.

“What?” Tomy says, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. “Do I think what?”

“That the jailbait thing is weird.” Tommy speaks louder this time and Tom laughs, confusion easing into bemusement.

“Uh. A little? But not bad weird,” Tom says the last part quickly when Tommy frowns. “It’s just not something I really get.”

That’s better than Tommy had hoped for and he nods, pushing the last bit of broccoli around on his plate. He thinks his words over carefully before speaking again.

“It’s just…we met so late, you know? By the time we did, you’d already been through the wringer with a bunch of girls and I—“ Tommy smiles and just shrugs. “Well, you know all about that.”

Tom doesn’t interrupt, just patiently waits for Tommy to make his way on to the point. So, he does.

“I kinda like looking at pictures of you before all that. I dunno. You’re all unscathed and innocent and shit.”

“And then you jerk off onto my face?”

Tommy outright laughs, and if Tom were closer, he’d swat at him. Instead, he grins wide and open, the way Tom likes. “And then I jerk off onto your face, yeah.”

Tom gets up and rounds the table, leaning down to kiss Tommy sweetly.

“I’m still not into it, but if you ever need new material, you know who to ask.”

Tommy pulls Tom back down and into his lap. He’s happy enough with that.

Anonymous asked: Secret Confession Anon here. Please write a drabble about that. That would be amazing. Also, and I hesitate to mention this because it is kind of a downer, but a few years ago I survived one kind of cancer and it is all good but I just found out this week that they need to check me for two more kinds of cancer. It may be nothing or it may be something but either way reading your words has kept my mind off it. Never think your writing doesn't matter. It does. Even if you don't see it directly.

That’s incredibly touching and humbling. Sorry for the delay, I debated over posting this or not because of the personal nature of the message, but I figured it’s anon so there’s no violation of privacy. I really hope your tests come back clear and that everything turns out fine. I will get out that Drabble so you can have something to help keep your mind off it. I’m really just floored that I’ve been able to help in any way and thank you again for telling me. It means a great deal to me.